Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
