i think my tv is drunk
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
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Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
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Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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