im having a threesome with these popsicles
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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