you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
