I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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