I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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