I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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