Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think people are normalizing furries
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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