I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
