it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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