I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
