none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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