This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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