perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
