I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
