I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
