I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
