he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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