Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
