Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Odds of those being real?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  One in who gives a fuck

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  (202): Odds of those being real? (614): One in who gives a fuck http://tfl.nu/agkd
  Replies (91) Good night (5089) Bad night (753)
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  (909): View more from California

  I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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  (909): I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho. http://tfl.nu/pviw
  Replies (9) Good night (826) Bad night (4239)
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  (408): View more from California

  she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.

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  (408): she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night. http://tfl.nu/jplo
  Replies (16) Good night (799) Bad night (3722)
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  (925): View more from California

  so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious

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  (925): so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious http://tfl.nu/hqe9
  Replies (16) Good night (4751) Bad night (746)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.

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  (517): My own mom unfriended me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/a468
  Replies (68) Good night (4033) Bad night (11712)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.

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  (321): Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever. http://tfl.nu/nab2
  Replies (10) Good night (3000) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.

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  (612): The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable. http://tfl.nu/wu9y
  Replies (20) Good night (3693) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

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  (732): I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/vyur
  Replies (6) Good night (2355) Bad night (809)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.

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  (+27): I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/8fby
  Replies (7) Good night (891) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.

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  (858): PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS. http://tfl.nu/mje4
  Replies (0) Good night (1825) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.

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  (203): You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity (1-203): You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/9k8g
  Replies (1) Good night (1081) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.

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  (832): I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too. http://tfl.nu/amfi
  Replies (7) Good night (1047) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me

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  (518): So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me http://tfl.nu/ljyq
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.

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  (952): Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats. http://tfl.nu/v77x
  Replies (0) Good night (635) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?

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  (618): Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!? http://tfl.nu/wury
  Replies (2) Good night (575) Bad night (157)

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