He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
