Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(931): View more from Tennessee

there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

u sound so gay right now

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(317): View more from Indiana

Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(251): View more from Alabama

Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?

(505): View more from New Mexico

yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.

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(586): View more from Michigan

My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.

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