Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.

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  (315): You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you. http://tfl.nu/rrga
  Replies (16) Good night (6446) Bad night (712)
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  (805): View more from California

  Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are

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  (805): Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are http://tfl.nu/ste8
  Replies (16) Good night (6689) Bad night (850)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it

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  (603): my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it http://tfl.nu/xy2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2952) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?

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  (425): Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fd94
  Replies (8) Good night (5776) Bad night (942)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.

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  (832): I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep. http://tfl.nu/qpw1
  Replies (15) Good night (1711) Bad night (4416)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.

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  (501): He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship. http://tfl.nu/bk2a
  Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (2337)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.

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  (860): its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party. http://tfl.nu/bik1
  Replies (5) Good night (2411) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand

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  (336): Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand http://tfl.nu/ms4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The air was thick with penises

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  (805): The air was thick with penises http://tfl.nu/1iew
  Replies (4) Good night (1357) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"

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  (651): I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you" http://tfl.nu/co0c
  Replies (3) Good night (1282) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.

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  (706): First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left. http://tfl.nu/7vi5
  Replies (4) Good night (1273) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."

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  (361): Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again." http://tfl.nu/1lne
  Replies (9) Good night (1159) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.

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  (202): No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free. http://tfl.nu/2enk
  Replies (16) Good night (643) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.

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  (931): I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help. http://tfl.nu/1bsh
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT

  (912): View more from Georgia

  WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO

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  (703): MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT (912): WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO http://tfl.nu/8lcd
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (451)

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