You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH