Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad

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  (856): Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad http://tfl.nu/fp7i
  Replies (70) Good night (826) Bad night (3573)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking

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  (540): when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking http://tfl.nu/ngdb
  Replies (14) Good night (4302) Bad night (808)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high

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  (502): Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high http://tfl.nu/lasc
  Replies (21) Good night (8299) Bad night (829)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"

  (205): View more from Alabama

  pick me up NOW

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  (205): they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve" (205): pick me up NOW http://tfl.nu/weqr
  Replies (17) Good night (1230) Bad night (4742)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.

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  (314): I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness. http://tfl.nu/5pr0
  Replies (20) Good night (4600) Bad night (1223)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.

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  (516): The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone. http://tfl.nu/jz14
  Replies (19) Good night (3736) Bad night (1522)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.

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  (517): Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/tw02
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (2223)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.

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  (304): He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE. http://tfl.nu/ltby
  Replies (27) Good night (1045) Bad night (3288)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.

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  (480): We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her. http://tfl.nu/hua5
  Replies (5) Good night (2752) Bad night (601)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter

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  (717): Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter http://tfl.nu/zraa
  Replies (5) Good night (567) Bad night (1659)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.

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  (781): Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth. http://tfl.nu/q2q1
  Replies (10) Good night (1046) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.

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  (207): Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me. http://tfl.nu/5y8e
  Replies (5) Good night (400) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...

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  (314): Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea... http://tfl.nu/1d0t
  Replies (7) Good night (1492) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this

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  (971): I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this http://tfl.nu/ssq4
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  YOU ARE MY HERO

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  (609): I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet... (856): YOU ARE MY HERO http://tfl.nu/qvso
  Replies (8) Good night (676) Bad night (352)

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