one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.