I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
