oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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