Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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