It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
