i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
