you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm passing your future prison.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
