Nicole vs. Life
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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