I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
