I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
handjob tips. give me some.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
