You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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