she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
