walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
