This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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