i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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