Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
