I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
