you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
