meet me or not, i'm out of control
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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