ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
