you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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