They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
