He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
