She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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