Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
