Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My feet surprised me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
