Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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