You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
