He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
