you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
