Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
