I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is Oprah even human
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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