How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
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What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize