He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also, beer. Big fan.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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