if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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