Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
