he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
