It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
