dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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