is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
