i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
